The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality

The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality

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  • Update Date:2025-09-06
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  • Author:Ronald Rolheiser
  • ISBN:038549419X
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Summary

Channeling the deep, mysterious desires of our hearts, Ronald Rolheiser leads readers from restlessness to peace, showing a contemporary path to authentic and healthy spiritual life。

In The Holy Longing, Ronald Rolheiser probes the question “What is spirituality?”, cutting through the misunderstanding and confusion that can often surround this subject with his trademark clarity。 Using examples and stories relevant for today, and with great sensitivity to modern challenges to religious faith, he explains the essentials of spiritual life, including the importance of community worship, the imperatives surrounding social action, and the centrality of the Incarnation, to outline a Christian spirituality that reflects the yearning and search for meaning at the core of the human experience。

Essential reading for anyone seeking to understand what Christian spirituality means and how to apply it to their own lives, The Holy Longing translates the universal struggle for love and integration of spirit into a language accessible to all, explaining God and the Church for a world that more often than not doubts the credibility of both。

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Reviews

Grant Hartley

Was given this book as a gift upon entering the Catholic Church this past Easter。 One of the most deeply influential books I have read in a long while, though there were points with which I disagreed or which I thought went a bit too far。 Rolheiser's discussion of eros and sexuality in particular were incredibly helpful and illuminating。 I hope to return to it again and again! Was given this book as a gift upon entering the Catholic Church this past Easter。 One of the most deeply influential books I have read in a long while, though there were points with which I disagreed or which I thought went a bit too far。 Rolheiser's discussion of eros and sexuality in particular were incredibly helpful and illuminating。 I hope to return to it again and again! 。。。more

Chris Chase

This was excellent book that predates the current secular society rush away from christiandom。 It speaks to both personal prayer and our need for community。 A must read for both people who consider themselves religious and not spiritual or vice versa。

Gwen Heginbotham

By far the best book on Spirituality I’ve read。 HIGHLY recommend!

Philip S

Really made me think about spirituality in new ways。 The language was different enough from my typical reading (because from a Roman Catholic perspective) to keep my attention and make me dig into ponder his framing of Christian spirituality。 This was a rich read and worth the time。

Megan

Going in I knew this was from a Catholic perspective and that I wouldn’t agree with some of the theological ideas he presented。 Just like every one else’s reviews, this book did make me think and challenged me。 When it was good it was very good。 I think the chapters on Social Justice and Sexuality alone were worth the read!

Jessie Bench

I do not recommend this book

Mary Foxe

DNF。

нєνєℓ ¢ανα

Exceptional, well written, balanced, so inspiring, with a deep vision about the dynamics into the life of the spirit。。。 I do recommend it fully!

Christine Arata

This book answered so many questions I had about the Catholic church and spirituality。 The author answers common complaints people have about attending church。 He gives the example of one man who said, "There is no real intimacy among us。 We are too cold, too masculine。 I'm forever lonely and nobody much cares!" After the man finally sought counseling, the priest-psychologist explained to him, "What you are really looking for is not to be found in a religious order。 You are looking for a lover, This book answered so many questions I had about the Catholic church and spirituality。 The author answers common complaints people have about attending church。 He gives the example of one man who said, "There is no real intimacy among us。 We are too cold, too masculine。 I'm forever lonely and nobody much cares!" After the man finally sought counseling, the priest-psychologist explained to him, "What you are really looking for is not to be found in a religious order。 You are looking for a lover, not a religious community。" In other words, beware of criticizing the church due to unrealistic expectations。 He later goes on to explain the purpose and benefits of the church community。 I also like his explanation of spirituality as a energy from God that goes back to God。 However, we often spend that energy in frivolous ways that don't serve God at all。Lots of wisdom in this book。 。。。more

John

Ronald Rolheiser wants us to redefine spirituality。 Most of us think of spirituality as something that happens in the locus of our mind through our beliefs, Rolheiser believes that spirituality is better understood as our desire, “an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostalgia…” “Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with that desire… Spirituality is about what we do with our unrest。” While Rolheiser’s language might feel raw, he Ronald Rolheiser wants us to redefine spirituality。 Most of us think of spirituality as something that happens in the locus of our mind through our beliefs, Rolheiser believes that spirituality is better understood as our desire, “an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostalgia…” “Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with that desire… Spirituality is about what we do with our unrest。” While Rolheiser’s language might feel raw, he is in a strong tradition going back to Augustine of those who believe that the seat of the Christian life is found in our affections rather than our minds。 Rolheiser goes so far as to talk about spirituality as channeled eros。 In Kierkegaard’s words, a saint is someone who “can will the one thing。” Our tendency, Rolheiser says, is to will many things, fracturing the object of our desire among many things。 Written in 1999, Rolheiser’s words are all the more important today, "What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction with sports, sit-coms, and talk shows。 These are the anti-mystical forces of our time。” When we are able to desire one thing, the only thing that can satisfy those desires, God himself, we have our eros satisfied。 After building this argument, Rolheiser spends the rest of the book talking about how we are do that。 He walks through the church, the incarnation, working for justice, and even sexuality as means to the healthy and properly focused Christian life。 The modern reader might be surprised how significant a place Rolheiser gives the church in his exploration of spirituality。 It is a refreshing counter-point to most writing on spirituality today。 He says, “Spirituality, for a Christian, can never be an individualistic quest, the pursuit of God outside of community, family, and church。” And again, Without church, we have more private fantasy than real faith。"Rolheiser is an engaging writer。 He’s honest, memorable, and pulls from a deep theological well。 For instance, about sexuality he says, “[Sex] either gives life or it takes it away。 It can never be casual, but is either a sacrament or a destructive act。”That said, Rolheiser’s mysticism is problematic at times, he presses the church as the body of Christ to a place that most Protestants (myself included) would be uncomfortable with。 For instance, “Jesus is referring to his body precisely insofar as it is not simply his sinless, glorified body in heaven, nor simply a sterilized, white communion wafer in a church。 What we are being asked ‘to eat’ is that other part of his body, the community, the flawed body of believers here on earth。” In addition, Rolheiser’s mystical leanings also tend to have him flattening or, at times, altogether eliminating the clear injunctions in the New Testament to proclaim our faith。 He follows the (apocryphal) advice, “Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words。” Unhelpful and unbiblical advice, to be sure。 That said, I understood why a number of my friends are so influenced by Rolheiser。 He has a unique and poetic way of clarifying challenging issues and sparking the affections of our hearts toward Christ and his church。 For more reviews see www。thebeehive。live 。。。more

Summer Green

Good dive into authentic Christianity that stretched my thinking and understanding of Christ, the church, and my place in humanity。 I recommend this to everyone looking to strip away some of our shallow evangelical understanding of being a follower of Jesus。

Jeff

This is simply a wonderful book。 I connected with this book in a way that was very surprising and happily so。 I really can't recommend a book more highly。 Without a doubt the best thing I've read thus far in 2020。 The whole thing is quite exceptional but I was most helped by the discussion on the spirituality of the Paschal Mystery。 The chapter on justice and peacemaking is a tour de force and so needed for this time。 This is simply a wonderful book。 I connected with this book in a way that was very surprising and happily so。 I really can't recommend a book more highly。 Without a doubt the best thing I've read thus far in 2020。 The whole thing is quite exceptional but I was most helped by the discussion on the spirituality of the Paschal Mystery。 The chapter on justice and peacemaking is a tour de force and so needed for this time。 。。。more

CharlotteChai

I did not agree with everything in this book but really liked the discussions about what spirituality is and how we might apply the paschal mystery to our own lives。

Catherine Pace

This one was kinda wack。。。very problematic in a lot of different ways。 I'm not being a snowflake。。。。it's genuinely problematic not only in its treatment of certain topics, but in its incorrect theology。 I did enjoy some parts, though This one was kinda wack。。。very problematic in a lot of different ways。 I'm not being a snowflake。。。。it's genuinely problematic not only in its treatment of certain topics, but in its incorrect theology。 I did enjoy some parts, though 。。。more

Monica Zebold-Bell

Read this over a year long period, mostly at Adoration。 My friend marilyn gave me the book to read as one of the Christian classics。 After the first couple of chapters, I purchased my own book so that I could mark-it up and take my time reading and contemplating, one chapter at a time。This book, along with CS Lewis‘s “Mere Christianity,” have impacted my spiritual growth more than any other。 After reading a book, i usually just pass it on; only a very few do I keep。 This one is a keeper。

Liz

Rolheiser has a unique take on Christian spiritual practice rooted in the belief that our inner restlessness is a desire to connect with God that is never fully met。 Our spirituality, through four broad categories, leads us to God。 Through praying and pursuing holiness, acting justly, peacemaking, and in community, we experience Jesus' incarnation。 Good read that I'll read more than once, in different seasons of life。 Rolheiser has a unique take on Christian spiritual practice rooted in the belief that our inner restlessness is a desire to connect with God that is never fully met。 Our spirituality, through four broad categories, leads us to God。 Through praying and pursuing holiness, acting justly, peacemaking, and in community, we experience Jesus' incarnation。 Good read that I'll read more than once, in different seasons of life。 。。。more

Allison

I am not sure what to say about to this book。 It had come highly recommended to me, and an author I follow quoted it。 It is about a deeper, more authentic Christian Spirituality。 The fact that it is written by a Catholic priest did not, on the face of things, put me off, as I am open to reading from a wide variety of Christian Traditions。 It's greatest strength is in it's final two chapters, "A Spirituality of Sexuality," and "Sustaining Ourselves in the Spiritual Life。"Yet for all this book had I am not sure what to say about to this book。 It had come highly recommended to me, and an author I follow quoted it。 It is about a deeper, more authentic Christian Spirituality。 The fact that it is written by a Catholic priest did not, on the face of things, put me off, as I am open to reading from a wide variety of Christian Traditions。 It's greatest strength is in it's final two chapters, "A Spirituality of Sexuality," and "Sustaining Ourselves in the Spiritual Life。"Yet for all this book had going for it, there were entire chapters that, to me, made no sense and seemed to be tangential to the point。 For example, in the chapter on Incarnation, the author refers to the time in Jesus' life when Mary of Bethany anoints the Lord's feet。 In the Gospel of John, ch 12, Jesus says, "she has anointed Me in preparation for My death。" However, the author interprets this as the Lord saying, "'Because of this, it will be easier to not give in to bitterness, easier to die。 Knowing that I am so loved, it will be easier to leave this world without anger in My heart。' This is what it means to be anointed。'" pp。90-91。This is completely untrue! To be *anointed* means to be set apart; literally, it means to be "smeared with oil" to be absolutely specific。 So where the author came up with these ideas -- whether they are his own or maybe traditionally Catholic -- I do not know。 But either way, he should have had some explanatory notes or something in his discussion, recognizing his readership is (from his own commentary) ecumenical and most likely somewhat familiar with both the Scriptural references and basic theological words。Same as when he discusses the Eucharist。 I appreciate that Roman Catholics believe the Eucharist to be the literal Body of the Lord Jesus Christ。 At first, I was intrigued by the author's connection between the Lord's earthly body, the Eucharist Body, and the Church as the Body of Christ。 This was not a connection I had fully formed previously。 But again, the author strays from Scripture to fit his own ideas。In seeking to emphasize the concepts above, he says, "the last thing Jesus asked of us before He ascended was that we go to all peoples and nations and preach His presence。。。The task is to radiate compassion and love of God, as manifest in Jesus, in our faces and our actions。" P。 102。 This is NOT AT ALL what the Lord said! He told us to "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and if the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you。。。" Matthew 28:16-19。These are just two examples of several in the book where I felt the author *went off the rails* with ideas that had little to no basis in Christian Spirituality。 The Reader is all the poorer for it。 。。。more

Adam

Ronald Rolheiser, of the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate, is a seminary president, teacher, and author who has written numerous books on spirituality。 This book is written for any interested reader, Christian or otherwise, and is in an accessible and non-academic style。 Rolheiser's premise is that spirituality is, at the very bottom, a primal desire。 Every drive in human beings is a part of human spirituality。 Sexuality is not excluded, nor is the environment, work, or any other facet of a Ronald Rolheiser, of the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate, is a seminary president, teacher, and author who has written numerous books on spirituality。 This book is written for any interested reader, Christian or otherwise, and is in an accessible and non-academic style。 Rolheiser's premise is that spirituality is, at the very bottom, a primal desire。 Every drive in human beings is a part of human spirituality。 Sexuality is not excluded, nor is the environment, work, or any other facet of a person's existence。 For at the core, spirituality is about the soul's longing after something, whether it be intimacy, community, purpose, or anything else。 Thus spirituality is to be understood more broadly than it might be understood in popular conception。 There is much to be valued in the book。 I appreciated his insights on the messiness of life, the need to be honest to God (God is saddened by our lying and not our weakness), the "mellowness" that flows from a deep relationship with God, and the tragic incompleteness of life。 Rolheiser's writing is reminiscent of Nouwen's or Rohr's; he doesn't pretend to be the perfect Catholic with all the answers。 He himself points out he is broken, but striving after God with all his heart。 He would like his readers to do the same。 Rolheiser is also a great writer。 He's engaging, brutally honest, and has the uncanny ability to translate the most soaring spiritual insights of the masters of the past into contemporary, 21st century language。 I'll conclude with a selection of my favorite quotes: - "What demons torment us? The struggles in spirituality that are more unique to our age might be named as follows: Naivete about the nature of spiritual energy, pathological busyness, distraction, and restlessness, and a critical problem with balance, leading to a bevy of divorces" (22)。- "[T]o have a healthy spirituality, we must feed our souls in three ways: through prayer, both private and communal; through the practice of justice; and through having those things in our lives (good friendships, wine-drinking, creativity, and healthy leisure) that help keep the soul mellow and grateful" (67)。 - "Without church, we have more private fantasy than real faith" (69)。 - "[T]he primary sacrament of forgiveness is touching the hem of Jesus' garment, the Body of Christ。 We have our sins forgiven in the same way as the woman in Mark's gospel stopped her hemorrhaging, through contact with Christ's body, that is, the Eucharist and the community。。。 We have our sins forgiven by being in community with each other, at table with each other。 Bluntly put, we will never go to hell as long as we are touching the community" (87)。- "In Jesus' birth, something fundamental has changed。 God has given us the power, literally, to keep each other out of hell" (92)。- "Not being involved with church because of the church's faults is often a great rationalization。 What is too painful to deal with is not the church's imperfection but my own fantasies about my own goodness, which, in the grind of real community, will become painfully obvious" (137)。 - "A mature sexuality is when a person looks at what he or she has helped create, swells in a delight that breaks the prison of his or her selfishness, and feels as God feels when God looks at creation。 For this reason sexuality lies at the center of the spiritual life" (192)。 - "[Sex] either gives life or it takes it away。 It can never be casual, but is either a sacrament or a destructive act" (199)。 - "What blocks faith is that myriad of innocent things within our ordinary, normal lives which precisely make our lives comfortable: our laziness, our self-indulgence, our ambition, our restlessness, our envy, our refusal to live in tension, our consumerism, our greed for things and experience, our need to have a certain lifestyle, our busyness and overextension, our perpetual tiredness, our obsession with celebrities, and our perpetual distraction with sports, sit-coms, and talk shows。 These are the antimystical forces of our time" (217)。 "Only someone who can live with the tension of an unfinished symphony will truly respect others" (224)。 。。。more

Lori Horton

3。5

Amanda Lee

I’m not sure I’m giving this a fair review since I’m downgrading it based on what I was expecting it to be rather than it was。 What I expected was a more thorough exploration into what draws us to the Holy, and Christianity in particular。 What it was seemed to be was a defense and/or explanation of Christian values。 This is not necessarily bad, and actually gave a pretty broad, inclusive picture but it didn’t really help me understand why I’m searching or what I’m looking for。 Maybe those aren’t I’m not sure I’m giving this a fair review since I’m downgrading it based on what I was expecting it to be rather than it was。 What I expected was a more thorough exploration into what draws us to the Holy, and Christianity in particular。 What it was seemed to be was a defense and/or explanation of Christian values。 This is not necessarily bad, and actually gave a pretty broad, inclusive picture but it didn’t really help me understand why I’m searching or what I’m looking for。 Maybe those aren’t reasonable questions to ask from a book like this。 。。。more

David K。 Glidden

One of the most inspirational books I have ever read

Craig Bergland

I really wanted to like this book。 I really wanted to like Fr。 Rolheiser, so much so that I tried to get around his sing-song voice by reading this book for the second time and hoping for different results。 Did you ever go talk to a salesman at a small used car lot? If you have, you may well have gotten the feeling that the salesman would say whatever he had to in order to sell you even the worst junker on the lot。 That's the feeling I get when the author tries to convince me that it's so import I really wanted to like this book。 I really wanted to like Fr。 Rolheiser, so much so that I tried to get around his sing-song voice by reading this book for the second time and hoping for different results。 Did you ever go talk to a salesman at a small used car lot? If you have, you may well have gotten the feeling that the salesman would say whatever he had to in order to sell you even the worst junker on the lot。 That's the feeling I get when the author tries to convince me that it's so important to be part of a church community that I should even tolerate mistreatment because I will learn something from it。 Unfortunately, what he's doing, whether he realizes it or not, is called gaslighting。 It's one of the very many legitimate reasons people are walking away from institutional religion。 Also, his claim that Jesus wanted people to be in a church community is an anachronism because when Jesus was alive the church as we know it didn't exist yet。 Christianity didn't exist yet。 There is a point at which a sales job crosses over and becomes something lacking in integrity。 You can find it in this book。 。。。more

Sylvia Jeronimo

There are certain books in life that are liminal books- threshold books。 When read, they have the mystical effect of helping you cross a threshold in your life; you manage to get unstuck and move several steps forward。 And that is their power because life is meant to have a forward moving effect。 Rolheiser’s chapters on the Incarnation, Ecclesiology and specifically the Pascal Mystery are brilliantly powerful and, if seriously pondered upon, life changing in their implications。 However, having s There are certain books in life that are liminal books- threshold books。 When read, they have the mystical effect of helping you cross a threshold in your life; you manage to get unstuck and move several steps forward。 And that is their power because life is meant to have a forward moving effect。 Rolheiser’s chapters on the Incarnation, Ecclesiology and specifically the Pascal Mystery are brilliantly powerful and, if seriously pondered upon, life changing in their implications。 However, having said that, Rolheiser and I fought all the way from the first chapter to the last on his inclusive language concerning God, creative energies and so much more。 Too much。’You helped me cross the threshold, Ronald, but I can only go so far with you! ‘ 。。。more

Katie

3/5 stars”Spirituality is not something on the fringes, an option for those with a particular bent。 None of us has a choice。 Everyone has to have a spirituality and everyone does have one, either a life-giving one or a destructive one。 No one has the luxury of choosing here because all of us are precisely fired into life with a certain madness。。。we wake up crying, on fire with desire, with madness。 What we do with our madness is our spirituality。”Several portions of this book were great。 I espec 3/5 stars”Spirituality is not something on the fringes, an option for those with a particular bent。 None of us has a choice。 Everyone has to have a spirituality and everyone does have one, either a life-giving one or a destructive one。 No one has the luxury of choosing here because all of us are precisely fired into life with a certain madness。。。we wake up crying, on fire with desire, with madness。 What we do with our madness is our spirituality。”Several portions of this book were great。 I especially appreciated his chapters on the Incarnation and on the Paschal Mystery, where Fr。 Rolheiser writes about how Christians can live out Jesus' life and death in our own lives。 Other chapters didn't quite do enough for me。 At times, it also felt a little dated (it was originally written in 1999, now 20 years ago)。 Some parts didn't stand the test of time for me。 I know many have loved this book in the past, and many will love it in the future。 It's not necessarily one that I would turn to again and again, but it was a worthwhile read and I know many people who would really enjoy it。 。。。more

Jodie Pine

"Spirituality is more about whether or not we can sleep at night than about whether or not we go to church。 It is about being integrated or falling apart, about being within community or being lonely, about being in harmony with Mother Earth or being alienated from her。 Irrespective of whether or not we let ourselves be consciously shaped by any explicit religious idea, we act in ways that leave us healthy or unhealthy, loving or bitter。 What shapes our actions is our spirituality。"Some very int "Spirituality is more about whether or not we can sleep at night than about whether or not we go to church。 It is about being integrated or falling apart, about being within community or being lonely, about being in harmony with Mother Earth or being alienated from her。 Irrespective of whether or not we let ourselves be consciously shaped by any explicit religious idea, we act in ways that leave us healthy or unhealthy, loving or bitter。 What shapes our actions is our spirituality。"Some very interesting ideas on incarnation that I had not heard before。 And a great Lord's Prayer for Justice。 Thought-provoking。 。。。more

Trevor Atwood

Some interesting ideas in here。 Hard to nail down who this book might help, but there is some thought provoking things about the soul, prayer, sex, and the church。

Trey Kennedy

Rolhesier’s approach to be “simplistic” is a noble one, but unfortunately it is often problematic。 He doesn’t always define important terms, such as “energy”, which can be readily misunderstood。 His approach also puts him lower on the list of books on prayer and spirituality with important insights。 However, Rolhesier does have a great focus on the Incarnation and its importance in spirituality。 His treatment on tension at the very end of the book was also extremely helpful。 If you’re looking fo Rolhesier’s approach to be “simplistic” is a noble one, but unfortunately it is often problematic。 He doesn’t always define important terms, such as “energy”, which can be readily misunderstood。 His approach also puts him lower on the list of books on prayer and spirituality with important insights。 However, Rolhesier does have a great focus on the Incarnation and its importance in spirituality。 His treatment on tension at the very end of the book was also extremely helpful。 If you’re looking for a simple way to understand the incarnational aspects of spirituality, then this book is a good place to start。 。。。more

Jeff Patterson

I truly appreciate Rolheiser。

Larry Wood

Plenty of inspiring insights into aspects of Christian spirituality that we rarely visualize so clearly。 Fr。 Rolheiser gives innumerable concrete examples of the points that he is making。 One example: the difference between praying in a merely theistic way and praying in a decidedly Christian, incarnational way。"。。。if my mother is sick, and I pray that she gets better, but do not drive her to see the doctor, I have prayed as a theist, not as a Christian。 I have not given any incarnational flesh, Plenty of inspiring insights into aspects of Christian spirituality that we rarely visualize so clearly。 Fr。 Rolheiser gives innumerable concrete examples of the points that he is making。 One example: the difference between praying in a merely theistic way and praying in a decidedly Christian, incarnational way。"。。。if my mother is sick, and I pray that she gets better, but do not drive her to see the doctor, I have prayed as a theist, not as a Christian。 I have not given any incarnational flesh, skin, to my prayer。"If I see a colleague or a friend who is depressed and pray for her, but do not speak to her, then I am praying like a theist, not as a Christian。。。。。Our prayer needs our flesh to back it up。" (pg。84)Rolheiser implores us not to take the Incarnation lightly, as meaning that God became man, stayed here for 33 years, and then left us with the Holy Spirit。 A kind of 33 year experiment。 He maintains "The incarnation is still going on and is just as real and as radically physical as when Jesus of Nazareth, in the flesh, walked the dirt roads of Palestine。" It continues in the body of believers。 The phrase "We are the Body of Christ" is not an exaggeration, nor a metaphor for Rolheiser。 He finds this the core of Christian spirituality。 "We have to keep God present in the world in the same way as Jesus did。" (pg。80) 。。。more

James

“Spirituality is, ultimately about what we do with that desire。。。about what we do with the fire inside of us。。。how do we channel it, the disciplines and habits we chose to live by, will either lead to a greater integration or disintegration within our bodies, minds, souls。。。in the way we are related to God [and] others。。。”Very Helpful。